A Red Sox fan’s prayer

Dear Lord:

Thank You for revealing the concept of Facebook on those stone tablets You showed that Zuckerberg kid a while back.

Facebook allows people to wish me a happy birthday without having to mess with stamps and cards and stuff.

So that’s cool.

But I do want to ask You one thing, Lord. I just have one birthday wish.

Please help the Red Sox stop their swoon and stomp the living piss out of the Rays today.

This won’t go over well with some of my Florida friends, but they’ll understand. If the situation was reversed, and their team was in the midst of a terrible skid, they’d be asking for something similar.

So that’s all I want, Lord.

Had a birthday cake yesterday. That was good. I just a W, Lord, that’s all.

Thanks. You bless You.



(You might remember me as Creation No. 781, 352, 617, 803, 840, 940, 428,  762, 305, 092, 983, 042, 188, 672, 193, 214)

PS. These Winklevoss Twins keep saying You showed them the Facebook Tablets first. Anything You can do to set the record straight? We’re getting tired of their whining.

*** Of course I remember you, Bill. But you’re fucked if you think I’m helping out with the Red Sox this year. You’re on your own.  And fuck the Winklevai.***